Samantha Irby’s Guide to Getting Over a Breakup

Intent on making 2017 your Best Year Ever? We can help with that, thanks to our 2017 Coach of the Month series. For July, we have Samantha Irby, author of We Are Never Meeting In Real Life. This week, Irby demonstrates how to put a positive spin on everything the ex you refuse to unfriend posts on social media. And by “positive,” she means “guffaw at that steakhouse he checked in at because you know he can’t afford it.”

I understand the very specific torture that is continuing to follow someone you’re no longer cool with on social media, because I, too, am a serious glutton for punishment who can’t help but to destroy my sanity while exacerbating my carpal tunnel and killing my eyeballs shooting hate daggers into my pocket computer. In my mind I’m always real cool after the breakup like “yeah whatever, no need to block you on Twitter it’s not like I care about your life” but that’s a lie man, I ABSOLUTELY CARE ABOUT THEIR LIVES. I don’t need to know that they got a promotion at work or a new car or whatever, but wow you changed your hair, fam? And started wearing suits and taking bathroom selfies in them? Why do you love yourself all of a sudden!?

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I’m not immune to the “yo I can’t believe he’s into museums now” disease, but I have found helpful ways of turning those emotional lemons into lemonade.

For instance, when they post: “Love my awesome life!”

LOL NO YOU DON’T. I think to myself: Does the ceiling in your apartment still leak toilet water from the place upstairs? Have you tried an artichoke yet? How many times has your mom called to remind you about that money you owe her? Your job still sucks, right? Have you bought a fitted sheet? How’s life without my Netflix log in? Are you still trying to figure out which of your friends stole your favorite comic book? Did you get your brakes fixed yet? How’s that herniated disc? Why do you keep texting me “what’s up” at 2 a.m.? Life is hard and miserable and we’re all just trying to slog through it until the next season of Game of Thrones comes out and I’m not gonna let Tinder Guy #6 make me feel bad because he’s lying to me on the Internet. Again.

“Can’t wait to go to this party!”

Well, this is obviously a personal attack. But who cares because you hate parties. And now that you are no longer having sex with a person who says things like “Mark wants to have a few people over for drinks in the yard!” while excitedly putting on a shirt to actually go you are no longer obligated to attend them. No more fending off his handsy drunk coworkers or listening to her best friend from high school make fun of your shoes. And you’d rather have a colonoscopy then spend a groggy, hungover Sunday morning grimacing at all of the shiny-faced, slightly unfocused pictures of you awkwardly trying not to spill on Alice’s white carpet you have to untag yourself from. No more small talk about movies you haven’t seen or world news you scrolled past, no more finding out Greg only has three chairs on a night you wore your highest heels. Leaving your house in pants with a zipper in them is overrated. Your horror movies and night cheese are the party.

*posts blurry picture of a soggy taco* “This food is amazing!”

Sometimes I get grossed out when people post pictures of their unappetizing meals on Instagram but if it happens to be posted by someone I’m hate-following I think “wow you really deserve those sad-looking potatoes.” Unless you were dating a professional photographer who can afford the nicest meals feel free to smugly turn your nose up at that wilted Subway footlong and chuckle wistfully into your diet cereal because you used to show your butt to a person who tried to find the most flattering angle of room-temperature roast beef.

“My new girlfriend is the best!”

Now he’s just showing off. It’s impossible that this is true. Because you are the actual the best.

Subtle molecular changes along the upper digestive tract could guide cancer therapy — ScienceDaily

Based on a new molecular study of tissues biopsied from various parts of the upper digestive tract, researchers at Georgetown Lombardi Comprehensive Cancer Center have identified significant, if subtle, differences in gene mutations and other factors that could help in developing more tailored treatment options for cancer patients. This finding is notable because as the digestive tract winds its way down from the mouth to the rectum, a continuum of cancers can arise, each of which may be amenable to precision treatment.

In this study, the researchers focused primarily on small bowel adenocarcinomas (SBAs) and compared them with parts of the upper digestive tract that precede it and follow it — the gastroesophageal area and right-sided colon cancers, respectively. Each section of the gastrointestinal, or GI, tract plays a role in digestion of food and hence has distinct structural as well as molecular differences. The finding will be presented June 30, 2017, at the European Society for Medical Oncology gastrointestinal meeting in Barcelona, Spain.

“Our study was undertaken primarily because SBAs are greatly understudied, as well as increasing in incidence nationwide, and we wanted to determine what may make them unique,” says Mohamed E. Salem, MD, assistant professor of medicine at Georgetown Lombardi, and principal investigator for the study. “We really didn’t have good data on SBAs so we’ve been treating the tumors as if they were colon cancers and we really need to start treating them based on their unique properties.”

The investigators looked at 4,278 tumor samples from a tissue repository of patients with GI tract cancers. The researchers were able to clearly identify 531 SBAs; 2,674 gastroesophageal cancers; and 1,073 ride-sided colon cancers. Using a variety of genetic sequencing techniques, they ascertained how well the genes were expressed, or “turned on” to make proteins. They also calculated what is called the tumor mutational load, or TML, which can be a marker for how responsive a tumor is to immunotherapy — which, paradoxically, could indicate that immunotherapy more effective when a higher TML is found.

The researchers found a set of frequently mutated genes in SBAs that could be helpful to clinicians when they are looking to use targeted therapies that work best in cancers with specifics mutations. In this case, KRAS, BRAF, BRCA2 and a few other genes were identified in SBAs. Mutations to these genes can affect the choice of therapy as well as how to better target the mutations.

Next, the investigators compared the SBA mutations with mutations in the two other parts of the GI tract and found higher and lower mutation frequencies across a wide array of genes. They were able to discern that SBAs were more like colon than gastric cancers.

More importantly, though, they found about a two-fold higher PD-L1 expression level for gastroesophageal cancers compared to right-side colon cancers but did not find such a marked difference between those tumors and SBAs. PD-L1 is often used as a marker to indicate if a cancer might be responsive to immunotherapy, and usually the higher the PD-L1 level, the more responsive a cancer would be to certain immunotherapies.

“With this study we now have what I think is one of the biggest datasets on SBAs,” says Salem. “Previously, investigators studying the colon found very unique differences between the left and ride sides, and our study therefore took advantage of those findings by exploring the differences between ride-sided colon cancers and SBAs. We now see a continuum of molecular changes that occur as these regions of the digestive tract transition from one area to the other.”

The next step, says Salem, will be to try to correlate these findings with patient treatment outcomes, initially as a retrospective, or backward looking study, and then hopefully design a forward looking clinical trial to determine which treatments may be best for patients with SBAs.

The 5-Step Guide to Heidi Klum’s Nude Lip, Smoky Eye Combo

Intent on making 2017 your Best Year Ever? We can help with that, thanks to our 2017 Coach of the Month series. For May, Heidi Klum and her beauty team break down how to get some of her most memorable hair and makeup looks, with minimal effort, to boot. Here, Klum and her makeup artist, Linda Hay, revisit one of Klum’s most flawless looks of late: the smoky eye/nude lip combo she wore to the Grammys in February.

For the 2017 Grammy Awards, Heidi Klum went rock glam with sultry, smoky eyes and an ultra-mini quicksilver dress. She’d do this look for a fun date night, too—the subtle lip keeps makeouts lipstick-worry free. Heidi loves the look, because as she explains, she likes to accentuate her eyes rather than her lips: “I don’t have luscious Angelina Jolie lips, so I do a big Bambi eye: lots of lashes, top and bottom. And a lot of shading, to make the eye really big.” Here, Linda Hay, Heidi’s makeup artist, explains how she get it done:

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Step 1

As always, I began with Mario Badescu Buttermilk Lotion, it’s light and easy and sits nicely under makeup.

Step 2

Next I corrected with my favorite Kevyn Aucoin concealer, it’s a heavy coverage concealer but is easily feathered when used with the moisturizer… I love that it gives me the choice. Then I applied Charlotte Tilbury Light Wonder Foundation, for some light coverage but keeping the skin fresh.

Step 3

Next the bronzer, Nars “Laguna” and “Casino” duo, using a large brush I gently apply under the cheek bone, the jaw line, and at the temples. Then I apply Tom Ford’s Illuminating Powder “Moonlight” using a smaller blush brush to the tops of the cheek bone, the bridge of the nose. Don’t want to overdo either of these, the eyes should be the star here.

Step 4

For a classic smoky eye I use a mix of black pencil with various shades of browns, this way you achieve a smoky eye, not a raccoon. I begin by lining the top eye lid and inside the entire water line with Charlotte Tilbury “Rock n Kohl” pencil (this is one of the few pencils I’ve used down to a nib, you have time to smudge it but it will set and stay put later, very cool).

Then line the bottom lash line with a lighter brown pencil, “Teddy” from MAC. Smudge and feather both top and bottom with a dark brown, Dior’s “Cuir Cannage.” Take a medium brown into the crease and the lightest brown to the lid, the highlighter to the inner corner and under the bow.

Next I added two layers of mascara to the top and bottom lashes (don’t be shy). After which you can tweak.. maybe you need to reapply the black pencil to the waterline? Maybe the darker shadow could be extended out to give a more cat like look? Perhaps the bottom eye shadow line could be softened and thickened by feathering with a light brown. I always hold back until after the lashes are in place to do finals, best to add than subtract.

Step 5

For a nude lip, Charlotte Tilbury’s Nude Kate is delish!

The 5-Step Guide to Heidi Klum’s Sleek, Summery Makeup Look

Intent on making 2017 your Best Year Ever? We can help with that, thanks to our 2017 Coach of the Month series. For May, Heidi Klum and her beauty team break down how to get some of her most memorable hair and makeup looks, with minimal effort, to boot. This particular one of Heidi Klum’s glam-night-out looks, the red lip and sleek bun combo, screams confidence. Here, Heidi Klum’s makeup artist Linda Hay shares her time-tested tips to getting the lookshrinking violets need not apply.

“This look is a classic for spring or summer: it’s chic, fresh, and polished!” Hay says. “The thing to be aware of with this look,” she cautions, “is to keep everything very sheer and dewy, with a hefty lashing of mascara so the red lips pop.” As for Klum’s own tips? “To keep your red going all night, start with a stain, and then put another color on top of it,” Klum says. “So even if you kiss that off, or drink that off, or eat that off, there’s still the stain underneath.” Below, Hay’s step-by-step breakdown:

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Step 1

I always begin with Mario Badescu Buttermilk lotion. It’s light and easy and sits nicely under makeup.

Step 2

Next I applied a little Laura Mercier “Radiance” Foundation Primer to the skin, for a sheer glow. For this look I use the primer in lieu of a foundation… I don’t know if it was designed to be used that way but I love it by itself. If you prefer more coverage, go ahead and add some of your favorite foundation to the mix, being sure to keep it light and airy. Charlotte Tilbury concealer around the eyes. A dot of Chanel Les Beiges Healthy Glow Sheer Colour Stick #22 to the apple of the cheek.

Step 3

The eye shadow is kept to a minimum for maximum freshness. I used the two lightest champagne colors from Tom Ford’s “Nude Dip.” The lightest highlight under the brow and the inner corner of the eye. The slightly darker color is applied like a wash over the lid and through the crease.

Step 4

For dramatic silent film-star eyes, I swear by this Shu Uemura lash curler, followed by generous lashings of DiorShow Black Mascara, at least 2 to 3 layers, top and bottom.

Step 5

For the lips I used a Jungle Red lip pencil from Nars. I like to very slightly overdraw the lips—meaning go outside the natural lip line—when using darker colors to compensate: darker shades almost always give the illusion of slightly smaller-looking lips. Cover the lips with the pencil to reduce the chance of bleeding, deepen the pigment, and to extend the life of your lipstick. Then I fill them with a matte red. I like “Rouge Improbable” from the Nars’ Sarah Moon collection. Or Ruby Woo from MAC is my other go-to matte red.